Thursday, 28 November 2013

Short Story: Days In The Park

I worry about you.

I am thankful everyday for you but I worry about you.

You spend all your days and nights worrying about me and the kids, you hardly have the time to take proper care of yourself. I go to bed every night praying that tonight will be the night you sleep well but, that night has not yet come. I feel you wake up every 3 hours or so, tossing and turning and sighing and groaning as silently as you can. I pretend to roll over in my sleep and reach out for you, holding you as long as my tired arms will allow it. I feel your heart rate steadily drop and the tension in your tall, broad and strong body leave you as you find your way back to me. To here. Our bed. Our home. Our safe place.

I made sure today that you woke up to the smell of freshly baked bread and grilled sausages and an already fed set of 5 year old twin boys and a lovely, yet troublesome, 2 year old girl. I hear you slowly make your way downstairs, into the kitchen, and the sight of that smile, the one that momentarily stopped my heart all those many moons ago when I first laid eyes on you, takes my breath away even now. You kiss me good morning, placing an arm around my not so svelte body and whisper how beautiful I am. I blush and reach up to hold your face in my hands. Though the frown lines are almost permanently etched into your face I do sense a little bit of life and spark in those lovely brown eyes of yours. The kids notice your presence and run as fast as they can from the living room to come and greet you.

'Can we go to the park now, dad? You promised to take us to the park today'.

'Yes, dad. I too remember this promise'.

'Par daddy! Par!'

You smile and pick little Ruth up and tell them all to get ready to go out. I attempt to get the boys showered and dressed but you tell me not to worry, that you will handle it. And that you've run me a bath so I should go enjoy that. Tears creep into my eyes, daring to pour out but I manage to keep my emotions in check and head upstairs as quickly as I can.

Once we are all fed and showered and dressed, we make our merry way to the park. The boys, each holding their favourite toy, James a frisbee and John a football, are way ahead of us; their energy doubling the closer we get to the park. You hold my and Ruth's hand as we trail gleefully behind.

I make a beeline for the nearest bench as you and the kids break free and run amok, playing with the leaves and chasing each other as you play tag. I smile as I watch you make castles out of the green-brown leaves with Ruth and see how relaxed you seem. I catch your eye and you wink at me.

My heart flutters.

I rest my hand on my ever-growning tummy and whisper to our most anticipated Christmas gift, 'I can't wait for you to join our little gang of mischief'. I can't help but feel incredibly blessed. I close my eyes and silently thank God for answering all my prayers and giving me much more than I deserve.

I want everyday to be like our days in the park. You laughing, the kids spending quality time with you and the man I fell in love with many suns ago winning the battle against his more worrisome self. I know you are anxious and uncertain of your ability to provide for our growing family, especially now with me being a stay-at-home-mum, but I really hope that you get to have more days like today so that you can enjoy all that we have accomplished so far.

You make your way over to me, the kids hot on your heels. You place a hand on our bump and kiss me long and hard, much to the kids disgust. We laugh and I tell you I love you. You smile that smile that melted my heart many days and arguments and date nights and PTA meetings and make-up sex ago and tell me you love me too. You pull me towards you and wrap an arm around me as we sit on the bench and watch the kids  go off and play in the leaves some more. I feel how relaxed your body is and how steady your breathing is and I close my eyes, enjoying this moment.

Yes, I really wish everyday to be like our days in park as we so fortunate to be having them at all.

***                 ***

Happy Thanksgiving & Happy Hanukkah!

Friday, 22 November 2013

Short Story: In The Mornings

I wake up, like every morning, and roll over to your side of the bed to drink in the lingering warmth that your body creates when you lie next to me. I feel the sunlight lightly kissing my skin because you, like every morning, open the curtains and windows to taste the new day when you get up. I hear you bustling about as you get ready for work; the hissing of the iron, the creaking of the floorboards, the sound of running water are all instruments that are used in the song that I listen to every morning.

I groan at the sound of the door closing behind you as you make your hurried way to the kitchen to fix yourself something to eat. At least I hope you are eating and not living on caffeine alone. I let the familiar guilt crawl its way into my stress-stricken body and drown me with the fact that I am a terrible person for not taking proper care of you and ensuring that you are well fed. What would your mother think? She already does not approve of me. Instead of getting up to check you are in fact eating solid food I lie here, in bed, wrapping myself with the huge blanket we are using as a duvet this summer to stop the cold from gnawing at my fingers and toes.

I hear the door slam again quickly followed by the sweet smell of freshly made coffee. You set my coffee filled Scooby Doo mug down on the bedside table along with a buttered bagel, lie down next to me and pull me into your ever so warm embrace. Just like you do every morning. I feel hot tears trickle down my face as, like every morning, you remind me of how much you love me. The way you stroke my hair sends ripple of calm throughout my body that eventually halts the tears. I fell your soft lips plant themselves on my forehead releasing bursts of hot spots all over my body. I am very aware that we do not have much time left before you have to leave so I free my mind from all other thoughts and savour these last few moments we have together before we join the daily grind of the working life.

On time, as always, we hear the alarm go off. You pry yourself out of my embrace and head out the door. As the front door closes and I hear you turn the key I sit up and reach for the cup of coffee you made me. After I take the first sip of liquid luck I can feel my insides latching onto every drop that makes it way into my tummy. I finish it and get out of bed to perform all my morning rituals- make the bed, do the washing up, set the table for dinner and finally hop into the shower.

I miss you already.

It is like this every morning. I am sure that I cannot be the only one that believes that mornings have a funny way of affecting the rest of your day more powerfully that other times of the day. You always starts mine off right. 

Once I have patted myself dry, lathered my skin with body lotion and put on my clothes, I sit on your side of the bed, munching on my bagel. Right there and then I make up my mind up my mind to try harder to make your mornings as special as you make mine. Although I am not even remotely a morning person, it is in the mornings that I truly value the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I will try not to bring work home tonight. And I think I will make Thai green curry for dinner, as you really like that. And I will also try to go to bed early. That way I can be well rested when I wake up earlier tomorrow to start your day with a kiss, a cup of coffee and breakfast in bed.

Just like you do for me every morning.

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Read It Or Not: Quiet


I have been taking an unusually long time to read the book that is currently my lunchtime companion- Quiet by Susan Cain. Granted it is not the normal kind of book that I reach for but, I became most intrigued when Shirley (blog: meek-n-mild) did a post on it a few months ago. The cover of the book was all white and it posed a question that I had been asking myself repeatedly all year-

Can an introvert thrive in a world that cannot stop talking?

I am sure I am not the only one who dreads assessment centres stage in the interview process or giving presentations to a number of people especially when it nears the double or triple digits. 

This is my book for November.

Feel free to join me on this adventure or share  your verdict on the books I plan to read or recommend the ones you love.

Yours truly,
Mo x

Saturday, 16 November 2013

Read It Or Not: Billy and Me

I finished this book about a month ago but have only been able to document my thoughts now because of internet issues (recently moved into my own flat) and because I finally knew how to express my thoughts on Billy And Me

Now, onto the book...

As first published books go I think Giovanna Fletcher should be extremely proud of 'Billy and Me'. It is a captivating and beautifully written romantic tale that plucked at my heartstrings from the first few pages. I could not put it down. This is another book that caused me to almost miss my stop on the way to work several times. The way she painted the picture of the events that unfolded page after page was so vivid, it felt like I was there. Having lived in Kent, where most of the story was set in, and taken a few trips to London also helped bring the story to life for me; it felt a bit more real.

In the hopes of not giving too much away I will say no more than what the blurb of the book has said.

Sophie May is the main character in this novel and she is the one I most identified with. Her disposition is much like my own so I truly connected with her character and saw most things from her point of view quite easily. The story revolves around her encounter with a certain man, Billy Buskin, in a quaint little village in Kent  and how it catalysed a chain reaction that was sure to change the future of her somewhat ordinary and quiet life. Can one who revels in a quiet life built around the support of their family and close friends thrive in bustling throws of the world of 'Lights! Camera! Action!"? Read the book and you will find out what lies in store for Sophie May and good ol' Billy.

Of course like many other stories there are other worthy characters who deserve a mention but I want you to meet them organically i.e. by reading the book. I have given you a gently nudge in the right direction (I hope! lol) which should allow you to be let in on the world of Sophie May and all the secrets that have kept her from spreading her wings. I really love the way Giovanna writes and only hope to be able to convey my thoughts as eloquently as she does.

Read it or not, that is your choice. But, I really hope you do....

Yours truly,

Mo x

Friday, 8 November 2013


NaNoWriMo aka National Novel Writing Month.

Oh yeah baby! That is what I am doing this month. Granted I did not prepare for it last month nor did I actually sign up on their website nor am I following any of their rules. So technically, I am not actually taking part in NaNoWriMo . I just decided on a whim (well, the 6th of November to be exact) that I was going to write at least a page a day on a short story I started whilst at work the other day. But I am taking it one step further. I am going “old school” and will be writing my novel by hand.

I have the tendency to waffle and I feel that if I write the novel using my pen, I will have a better control of conveying my thoughts in a more concise manner. Plus, I do not get to rely on auto-correct so I am learning to spell again haha.

For the first time, I have made a brief outline of the story and will try to stick to it. I normally just see where my imagination takes me and stop when I either feel tired or the end surprises even me. Eeek! It is going to be soo hard to stick to the outline but I will try.

I must take this opportunity to thank Linda from OpenEllbey for introducing me to NaNoWriMo and Meg from MegFee for sharing the song that birthed this story I am writing which will hopefully become my first ever finished and “published” novel.

I am excited for the 6th of December to roll on by so that I can see how the story evolved. I will be getting someone (my sister and a couple friends) to edit my work before I print it off. But I have to say, it is the keeping of the handwritten version of the story that I am most excited about. Who knows, by next year when I do this again I would have snagged myself a typewriter and use that to write my next novel. That would be too cool!

If any of you have been a part of NaNoWriMo before or are taking part in it this year good luck with your new project! I hope the finished work brings you joy. And to those of you that might be thinking of doing it let me know. We could practise this writing project together and be better prepared for next year’s NaNoWriMo and have a chance of winning :) 

Yours truly,
Mo x

Thursday, 7 November 2013

Gone Without A Trace



It has been more than a month since I posted something on here and I apologise. A lot happened in the month of October and life sort of got in the way of things a bit (I sort of touched upon it on my other blog).

I wanted to at least let those of you who read this blog know that things will be up and running again very soon. Hope you book lovers out there have had an amazing time in my absence.

I am back! 

Yours truly,

Mo x